makaalohilohi misconcepts

28 Saturday

2010-08-28T10:58:00.000-07:00

Ack, no time for post! Santa Cruz...studio...holy crap!...garden...excited!

13 Thursday

2010-05-13T03:33:00.000-07:00

Aerobics & Stepdancing Term Paper
Muscles, Bones, and Evolution

As a bio major, I’m often surprised at how little I know about humans compared to fruit flies or nematodes. Today I’m surprised at how little I know about our muscles and skeleton. During exercise, it’s obvious that certain muscles are significantly weaker than others. Nothing in the body happens without some evolutionary purpose, like having an appendix (it was useful for ancestral animals that ate mostly leaves). I decided to look at why certain muscles are so weak and some injuries are so common.
The oldest known primate-like mammal is known as Plesiadapis; it lived 65 million years ago, weighed about 5 lbs. and looked a little bit like a weasel. Their skeletal structures revealed they were adept climbers with short, strong limbs, and gripping claws on all four limbs. The great apes, which are the closest living relatives to humans, are descendents of these tree-dwelling primates that also gave rise to hominids. Given ancestors that were most at home climbing and swinging in trees, it is no surprise that certain muscle groups in the upper body are strong and suitable for such movement. Similar to doing pull-ups, swinging through trees heavily involves the latissimus dorsi, biceps, and pectoralis major. These muscles are involved in pulling the body against gravity toward a tree limb. The deltoids and triceps work opposite these muscles, serving to lower the body slowly with gravity instead of simply letting it fall. Interestingly, these are two muscles of the upper body that tire particularly easily during exercise. The lowering muscles are much smaller and weaker than their lifting muscle-counterparts. One reason for this is gravity; whereas the first group of muscles works against gravity, the second group works with gravity. Another reason for this is that simply falling remains an option for tree dwellers, particularly when they can land safely on their feet. Leg muscles are typically larger than arm muscles, so a primate conserves energy by walking or jumping without needing to develop larger arm muscles.
Bipedalism (walking on two legs) allowed primates to use their forelimbs to get food or protect themselves, but skeletal adaptations were constrained by the build of their parents. The earliest terrestrial animals were fish that had adapted to breath air and move on land. These fish had four limbs, all of which it used for walking. The same is true of the reptiles, amphibians, and mammals that resulted from successive generations adapting to new environments. A great majority of terrestrial animals are quadrupeds (walk on four legs) and bipedalism is a relatively new concept in mammals. This change from walking on four legs to using only two was accompanied by drastic renovations to the skeleton.
Lower back pain is a brutally common and unpleasant condition resulting from disagreement between human anatomy and behavior. Our lower backs are also quite weak, and overuse can lead to injury. In a quadruped, the spine has a downward C-shaped curve, and the lower back and pelvis are directly over the hind legs. For example, while the lower back of a dog may bear considerable amount of weight while standing, it is carried much more efficiently. In the upright human spine, the lower back connects to the pelvis in the same way, curving slightly forward. In order to keep the body’s center of gravity over the feet, the spine has to curve backward again to offset the forward curve. As the spine connects to the skull, it curves forward again, giving it an overall S-shape. This change in posture created extra strain on the lower back. The rotation of the pelvis brought the lower back muscles down and away from the spine, decreasing their ability to support the back’s new range of motion. The decreased support at the lower back is the culprit of injuries from heavy lifting, problems with poor posture, and the back pain experienced by pregnant women and obese people.
The transition to bipedalism brought about other renovations to the lower body making certain areas prone to injury and wear. In particular, hips and knees suffer the consequences of altering the stance from gorilla to upright. Early bipedal primates had a wide stance and stood with knees slightly bent. In comparison, humans stand with feet and knees directly under the body, with the legs fully extended at the knees. Knee problems result from this adjustment for a number of reasons. First of all, the leg is now hyper extended at the knee, increasing the amount of wear at the kneecap. Secondly, in order to put the feet directly below the center of gravity given the width and rotation of the hips requires that the stance rotate at the knees. The consequence is greater pressure on the knee joint at an angle that accelerates wear.
As hinted at earlier, the pelvis plays a pivotal role in the evolution of structural weakness in humans. It constrains the shape of the upright spine to a stress-inducing S-curve and shortens the pelvis vertically. This reduces the size of the pelvic cavity, making childbirth more difficult for us than it was for early hominids. In gorilla stance, the hips are higher in the pelvis, connecting at the sides, and the legs extend forward and apart with respect to the pelvis. In the human stance, the hips connect lower on the pelvis at a different angle, and the legs extend downward and inward, putting the feet directly below the body. This increases the amount of wear at the hip joint from all directions. The joint is also smaller and therefore weaker due to the shortening of the pelvis.
With all of these problems and shortcomings that result from the evolution of humans’ upright posture, one might wonder what made it so advantageous during the process of natural selection. There are a lot of compelling reasons for why it’s good to be bipedal. 1) There are more predators in the forest than in the savannah, where you must walk. 2) You have a greater range of motion to do things like hunt with a spear. 3) Your upright stature gives you better control over your limbs, allowing you to use tools and build things like huts. 4) It’s easier to look behind you, because your body is not in the way. There are many more advantages to these changes, far more than the negative consequences that we focus on. Natural selection is constrained to modifying parts of the body structure that already exist. The body plan to which we owe our dominant status in the natural world comes at a price.

Monday 10

2010-05-10T12:03:00.000-07:00

Dominance and Submission in Sexual Behaviors and Relationships

Psych200 Human Sexuality

May 2010

The dyad of dominance and submission has an extremely powerful meaning in our society. It is central to the hierarchies that define social structure within every institution—from workplaces to social groups to personal relationships. With regard to personal relationships, those words have an additional controversial meaning. Relationships in which this dyad still exists are looked down upon by society; promoting inequality in power appears to go directly against the grain of equal-rights movements that shaped the U.S. Stopping abuse and protecting victims are clear priorities, but despite its treatment by much of society, Dominance/submission (D/s) as a sexual practice has nothing to do with rights or abuse. D/s and other practices broadly classified as BDSM (bondage/discipline, dominance/submission, sadomasochism) are distinguished from abuse and sexual violence by the requirement of safe, sane, and consensual conditions. There are a good number of reasons behind society’s negative image of D/s. Some reasons are merely a matter of preference, others are anecdotal not broadly applicable, and many are rooted in fictitious representation. The primary example of misunderstanding regards the distinction between D/s and abuse by safe, sane, consensual practice. Probably just as important is the assumption that such practices indicate or cause unhealthy relationships. This remains a widely held interpretation of D/s relationships. And yet, cultural acceptance of BDSM overall is on the rise due to the fact that most reasons for rejecting its practice simply aren’t true. The D/s relationship dynamic in particular is highly misunderstood, but as research sheds light onto the real experiences of D/s couples, the evidence for pathologizing their behaviors falls away.

Dominance/submission is a large component in most BDSM. D/s revolves around the consensual exchange of power between dominant and submissive; the submissive relinquishes power and is “played with” by the dominant in the form of verbal and/or tactile stimulation. Giving or receiving punishment or pain in the practice of bondage and discipline or sadomasochism mostly involves a D/s-type exchange of power. D/s without the use of restraints or infliction of pain is also practiced and can involve role-play, sexual aggression, and non-painful physicality. D/s is a broad theme that is often a component of B&D and SM play. Bondage and discipline is characterized by role-playing punishment for misbehavior. B&D tends to evoke the most striking image of BDSM, likely due to the frequent use of accessories for physical binding and infliction of pain. Sex accessories are foreign to many people, even without association with alternative sexuality, so it is unsurprising that the adornment of bizarre costumes for the purpose of bizarre sex play overwhelms the public image. Sadomasochism is probably the most difficult of the three themes for non-practitioners to understand, in that it specifically links physical pain with sexual pleasure. Especially shocking is the notion that SM, if done irresponsibly, could lead to injury. It probably doesn’t reduce the shock value to note that this risk is central to gratification derived from SM play. The word “play” in reference to BDSM activities emphasizes the safe, sane, consensual rules that prevent abuse of either role.

The conservative view of D/s is of sickness and perversion, leaning towards violent crime. Non-traditional sexual behaviors and desires may be pathologized by partners, therapists, and mainstream societies. Outside perspectives generalize that BDSM tendencies are a predictor of destructive intimate relationships on the basis of desiring sexual violence. Between partners, unshared sexual desire can translate to infidelity. However, many are likening the stigmatization of BDSM to that of homosexuality, bisexuality, masturbation, swinging, pornography, erotic fantasies, age gaps between partners, and non-traditional gender roles. Where these sexual alternatives were previously seen as sickness, they are now largely accepted as a matter of individual preference. Psychotherapists with naïve, uneducated, or otherwise negative attitudes toward D/s are not just behind the times, they also foster an untrusting environment, sabotaging all aspects of treatment. On a greater scale, the lack of understanding of mental health professionals amplifies their clients’ feelings of stigmatization and hinders the progression toward cultural acceptance of alternate sexuality.

What is not known to much of society are the ways in which D/s is actively and consciously distinguished from sexual violence. D/s practitioners adhere to the rules of safe, sane, consensual practice because they are necessary for pleasure. Safety precautions are taken, particularly where pain is involved. The dominant must be able to skillfully and safely administer pain in response to the needs of the submissive. Safety words are used to communicate what participants are comfortable with and when to stop. D/s is only practiced by responsible, sober, sane individuals. Practitioners must be able to follow rules and be responsive to their partners’ needs. Dominants cannot be so dominant that they hurt their partner, and submissives cannot be so submissive that they will not let their partner know they are being hurt. All aspects of D/s play are negotiated beforehand and mutually consented upon. Needs and boundaries are respected and both partners are sensitive to changes that arise during play. A person who derives pleasure from BDSM-like practices in violation of those rules is indeed abusive, and is rejected by BDSM communities as well as by society as a whole. D/s behaviors are more complex than stereotyped. The reasons for pursuing interest in D/s are far beyond the outside assumption that it allows mimicry of sexual violence and violent crime. There is an overriding theme of personal empowerment for both roles that permits escape from the expectations of daily life.

It is impossible to accurately estimate the prevalence of DsPs given obvious sensitivity around the subject. While well-developed BDSM communities are relatively easy to find and survey, there remain private, individual DsPs, who likely represent the uncounted majority. Underreporting occurs for a number of reasons, including privacy about sexual behaviors, recruiting bias (some practitioners may be open to surveying, but don’t visit clubs), and risk of prejudice. On the shallow end of the scale, Kinsey (1953) reported that 26% of males and females responded pleasurably to biting and scratching during intercourse. Still far shy of a negotiated sex script, these small expressions of sexual aggression are an accepted, even eroticized, sexual behavior. Dominant and submissive themes in mainstream sexuality and media are another accepted form of expression. A study in 1982 of 1760 erotica magazine covers found that almost 20% presented BDSM themes (Hoff, 2003). It is unsurprising that fantasies are more common than practice, given widespread exposure to D/s-like depictions of sex and power. Exposure to sexual themes in media and elsewhere introduces people to ideas that they may not think up on their own. Greater exposure in the media increases the likelihood that both partners in a sexual encounter or relationship will be open to experimenting. Moving toward the deeper end of sexual power play, patterns start to appear. Sexual variation in general (novel positions, oral/anal sex, etc.) is higher among people who have completed college versus those with only a high school degree (Hyde). The comedic depiction of professionals engaging in erotic role-play in the 1985 film, “Porky’s Revenge” reinforces a stereotype that actually reflects known demographics. Dominance/submission behaviors in educated, upper-class, white-collar professionals promote the interpretation that D/s permits the sexual relinquishment of power that bears heavily on other aspects of life (Baumeister, 1988; Ernulf & Innala, 1995).

Probably the biggest question surrounding the subject is just why the exchange of power in D/s play is so appealing to its practitioners. A number of theoretical approaches have been made toward understanding and defining BDSM sexuality. Freud considered sadomasochistic practices pathological, but that destructive tendencies were a part of human nature. He noted that sex is related to aggression, even in heterosexual intercourse. By societal standards, masochism is normal in women and abnormal in men; this reflects the emergence of BDSM types of roles from established gender roles. Brothers (1997) and Celenza (2000) believed that BDSM tendencies arise from practitioners eroticizing childhood sexual abuse or re-enacting the traumatic scenario as a means of regaining control. In contrast, Santilla, et al., (2000) reported that BDSM practitioners did not experience childhood sexual abuse at significantly higher rates than the general population. The literary works of de Sade (1966) and Sacher-Masoch (1996) are the origins of sadism and masochism; Butcher’s analysis (1999) suggests that a minority who were disturbed that they identified with the texts drove cultural rejection of BDSM sexuality. Radical feminist theory states that sadomasochism is a pathological perpetuation of patriarchal oppression and violence against women. Social learning theory looks at parental interactions that may enforce underlying tendencies. For example, a child who is misbehaving may be punished, and then comforted or rewarded with a hug. For some children, this may register as more loving a relationship than is experienced without punishment/reward behaviors. Finally, stress reduction theory looks solely at the adult experience, although existing tendencies must co-occur to explain the exact direction of response. By this theory, BDSM activities are used to escape the burden of societal demands. This is a compelling explanation, particularly given the prevailing upperclass, well-educated demographic that dominates the population of BDSM practitioners (Weinberg, 1984, 1987; Hoff, 2003).

Dominance/submission is a multi-faceted term that applies to a variety of relationships and behaviors. The popular image that comes to mind is the leather-bound, stiletto-ed dominatrix teasing and punishing her slave with a whip while he begs to lick her shoes. First of all, this image contains all aspects of BDSM—bondage, discipline, dominance, submission, sadism and masochism—not just D/s. The only strictly D/s aspect of this scene is the submissive begging to lick the dominant’s shoes. The other aspects build off of the power exchange and extend into binding and administration of pain; but power and control, or the relinquishment of, are central to this image. Secondly, this is only one example of the dynamic between practitioners. Different people have different preferences and boundaries within the wide world of BDSM possibilities. Not all female DsPs are dominatrices and not all male DsPs want to be dominated.

In addition to the terms “dominant” and submissive, a number of others are used—Dom/sub and top/bottom are the most common and applicable. Many role-dyads correspond to BDSM practices in general; the nature of activities—whether or not accessories are involved, the administration or avoidance of pain—are defined circumstantially. Master/slave is used and associated with D/s, but does not apply broadly; many DsPs are adverse to the allusions of force and cruelty, especially with regard to race. Where it is used, it depicts a dynamic of ownership—the submissive is the master’s possession and plaything, and either role can be assumed by either gender. Dyadic themes range from stereotypical to quite creative. Some are gender-specific, some are interchangeable, and some interchangeable themes are more gender-specific in practice. For example: teacher/student, cop/criminal, daddy/little girl, CEO/secretary, health inspector/restaurant owner, doctor/patient, nanny/baby, interrogator/suspect, boss/maid, etc. D/s play can be elaborate, involving pre-negotiated scripts, costumes, props, even a setting, like a classroom or dungeon. Or, they can be simple, constructed by verbal exchange and manual administration of control and pain.

Solely D/s behaviors are relatively fewer than those involved with bondage or infliction of pain. Verbal role play, rough sex, spanking, and humiliation (like licking boots or tasting one’s own sex fluids) are dominant/submissive activities that don’t necessarily fall within the limits of sadomasochism and bondage/discipline. Some additions to these basic themes are the affliction of pain without sex accessories (i.e. biting, scratching, slapping, pinching, choking, hair-pulling, others) and with accessories (i.e. whips, canes, clamps, needles, hot wax, others), and physical binding (with ropes, handcuffs, gags, chains, scarves, neckties, others); (Ernulf & Innala, 1995).

Descriptions of these activities are bound to evoke an image of a particular setting—such as a leather club or a back room in Amsterdam’s red-light district. For those who haven’t experimented personally, the mental image that D/s sex is visually different from normal sex may help to distance themselves from the idea of D/s sexuality. In reality, there is less difference than similarity between D/s and non-D/s sex and more variation within groups than between groups. The biggest practical difference between outside perception and reality of D/s is the existence of healthy, long-term, committed relationships. Degrees of preference for D/s occur across a wide spectrum, and as with any other sexual preferences, healthy relationships are built on a foundation of complementary needs. There is no good way of quantifying with any reliability the range and breakdown of BDSM relationships. Recruiting for studies is often biased toward those involved in BDSM communities or online forums and people who are particularly open about sharing their sexuality. Whether or not this group forms the majority, it is important to shed some light onto the wide spectrum of behaviors and lifestyles of practitioners.

Hoff (2003) did a study on the role of sadomasochism in the relationships of four long-term committed heterosexual couples, impacts of others regarding sexuality, and effects on experience with psychotherapy. The couples were interviewed on the basis of eight themes: 1) length of relationship; 2) commitment in relationship; 3) history of SM orientation; 4) meaning and importance of SM; 5) impact of attitudes from others; 6) experiences with psychotherapy; 7) attitude of mental health professionals (MHPs) toward sadomasochism; and 8) recommendations to MHPs. The four couples had vastly different experiences with regard to those eight categories, but each had found a way to embrace their shared sexual proclivity, which then served higher purposes in the relationships as tools for emotional healing and communication.

In couple 1, Sandra is dominant and Bill submissive. They met when Sandra bought Bill at a Halloween auction, and at the time of the study were married 18 years and had no children. Their lifelong slave/mistress relationship was central to their marriage vows and is a prominent and open aspect of their lives. Sandra is free to experience other slaves than Bill, but the marital relationship is strongest and most passionate. In previous relationships, but felt uncomfortable about disclosing their sexual interests. Sandra was highly interested in pursuing dominance, but her partner viewed the behavior as extremely perverse and problematic, and needed to be fixed. Bill had been able to disclose his desires as a submissive, but had found prior experiences to Sandra unfulfilling. He could not find a partner who was sufficiently dominant; in many cases he had to direct the scene, which could cause obvious difficulties with submitting completely. As a couple, Sandra and Bill are deeply involved in the BDSM community and rarely interact with potentially judgmental demographics. Sandra had been seeing a psychotherapist regularly about general issues, but upon disclosing her sexuality, she was abandoned without a referral. She lost trust in therapy altogether and relied on Bill for support, but could not re-create the same objective, but sensitive, environment. Ultimately, it was a traumatic experience for Sandra that could have been avoided by greater understanding on the part of her therapist. Mental health professionals should be open to non-destructive unconventional behaviors and not pathologize others based on their personal discomfort. Comparable to the treatment of homosexuality, aversion therapy of SM sexual orientation is ineffective and harmful. SM practitioners should not have to bemonster their sexuality in seeking therapy; they have many of the same reasons as non-SM practitioners for counseling, which may or may not involve sexuality.

Couple 2 comprises Hela (submissive) and Steven (dominant), who had been intimate for about five years but are unmarried and do not cohabit. Owing to a hysterectomy, Hela experiences low sex drive, so it is part of their relationship that Steven has outside playmates. Both had experienced violent environments prior to engaging in SM sexuality. Steven witnessed his father abuse his mother as a child and first noticed his SM sexuality as a young adult; Hela is a survivor of domestic abuse and was introduced to SM by Steven. Hela actually felt empowered by her submissive role because the submissive has ultimate control over the scene. She was able to invite what had once been perceived as harm, reminding her of her deep emotions about her abuse, but in play with Steven, she could direct every aspect of what was being done to her: harder, softer, faster, slower, more, less. This couple used SM play as therapy for overcoming emotional issues, such as Hela’s experience with abuse, their double marginalization as people of color who also practiced SM, issues about body image, and other very sensitive subjects. SM play helps them to address complex and sometimes painful emotions and enhances communication throughout their relationship. The two are both very discreet about their sexuality, keeping their interests from even their closest friends. Hela understood that revealing her sexuality might be uncomfortable for others, but remaining secretive made her feel like a fake, having a split personality where no one could know her completely. Exceptions likely include Steven and a particular psychotherapist with whom she had a positive experience. This therapist focused on communication and the relationship dynamic without pathologizing sexual behaviors. He even acknowledged that in the absence of destructive consequences, SM play was a good tool for addressing relationship issues. MHPs in general are best open to the possibility that BDSM play can be therapeutic, and should be able to distinguish safe, sane, consensual SM from violence.

In couple 3, Lynn is primarily dominant and Brian primarily submissive, but they often switch to allow Brian to enjoy dominance. They both hold high-paying high-pressure jobs. They were married 13 years at the time of the study and sexually exclusive, though each had a teenage son from previous marriage. Brian declares that his interest in SM developed as early as his sexuality, that he “came this way”. Lynn didn’t know about BDSM at all until Brian began to share his desires within their relationship; her acceptance and understanding led her to develop a great interest in participating. Lynn’s embrace of Brian’s sexuality was crucial for their relationship and even catalyzed their individual growth. This aspect of the relationship was revolutionary in Brian’s life, having grown up with dyslexia at a time when it was not understood. He received continuous therapy starting as a teenager but suffered severe relationship issues with his family. His dad in particular would not acknowledge that he was not simply stupid. Openness and understanding were thus very important to Brian, and so he made a point of sharing his sexual orientation very early on in relationships. He did not want to invest his time and emotion in a relationship that would make him live a double-life, and so faced difficulties in finding the exact type of partner that he needed. This need was eventually satisfied when he found Lynn, but due to their social surroundings, both are very careful about who they disclose their sexuality to. They have approached therapy individually and as a couple, but were at best disappointed by their MHPs complete unfamiliarity with the subject and at worst pathologized. Brian emphasized that MHPs should learn about the client and provide what is needed to encourage self growth, instead of looking at the client as an assortment of diagnoses that need fixing. Adequate education about alternative sexuality should be an essential component of psychotherapeutic training; it’s entirely unacceptable for an MHP to begin learning the basics of an entire sexual subculture from clients, who do not pay to teach. One of these crucial basics is being able to distinguish between destructive and constructive SM behaviors. Ultimately psychotherapy should focus on the issues that are important to the client.

Couple 4 are Simone (submissive) and Tim (dominant) who were married for 4 years at the time of the study. They are polyamorous, having multiple transient partnerships, but the committed marital relationship is most important in the long run. Both Simone and Tip were interested in SM from an early age, but had many negative relationships until they met. Together they found compatibility and an environment where their shared alternative sexuality could be embraced. For them, fantasy enactments are a helpful and therapeutic tool. Simone was adopted, and as a teenager she idolized her biological father who probably didn’t know she existed. Tim lost much of his relationship with his daughters following his service in the military, during which time he and their mother divorced. Their “daddy/sweet little girl” power relationship fulfils the needs of both by acting out their wishes in life through a sexual context. They also switch roles to allow Simone to enjoy the top role. Further, evoking the incest taboo makes their sex kinky, exciting, and gratifying without any actual incest or sexual abuse. They found that their SM sexuality made effective relationships with psychotherapists hard to come by. MHPs may ask unhelpful or irrelevant questions about their sexuality as a means of figuring out the situation. However it’s the therapist’s job to learn about and understand aspects of the human experience objectively before coming to conclusions about normalcy or abnormality. It is unhelpful to jump into analyzing some behavior that seems unfamiliar without considering the client’s perspective. The cause of attraction to SM behaviors may be identifiable, but the behaviors are not intrinsically wrong, and identity is separate from behavior. The purpose of therapy is to address clients’ needs, not pathologize their sexuality. Tim suggests that MHPs view BDSM as another of the very many subcultures that exist in the world, that display esoteric customs and have variations in what behaviors are socially accepted. The therapist must therefore address their own cultural biases and be sensitive toward differences without seeing them as wrong.

There is no way to extrapolate broadly over the population how widespread these relationships are that defy cultural stereotypes. But given just a few examples, it is clear that there are innumerable ways that couples with interests in D/s or other BDSM play can safely and beneficially incorporate their sexuality into their relationships and lives. Furthermore, these couples demonstrate a remarkable positive effect of their BDSM play. These effects range from enhanced trust and communication, to expression of bottled-up kinkiness without fear of judgment, to addressing and overcoming deep emotional issues.

We generally accept that sexuality is a personal and private issue. However, we are less accepting of personal variation. D/s activities are distinct from sexual violence due to the requisite rule of safe, sane, and consensual play. If these unconventional sexual desires do not cause physical harm but actually enhance arousal for some people, it’s no one’s business to pathologize their safe, sane, consensual enactment. D’s can be viewed merely as a novel variation to sex, a sexual preference, sexual orientation, or as broad as the subculture community. It is further not well known that D/s play can be therapeutic, helping couples overcome emotional issues and enhancing communication ability. Engaging in or fantasizing about D/s play is increasingly considered a normal form of sexual exploration. It therefore becomes increasingly important that a harmless preference not preclude stigmatization. This point is crucial in the field of mental health, where the therapeutic relationship can be fatally disrupted by negativity toward alternative sexuality.

The web is home to some wonderful resources for D/s and BDSM in general. The subject’s history of negative societal regard makes the internet an invaluable trove of ideas that ultimately increases acceptance of D/s. A person who may be curious about D/s has the option to pursue the curiosity or to shut it out. It is extremely easy to pursue curiosity through knowledge based forums or through pornography, which are accessible and anonymous. Exposure to the community of D/s practitioners reveals the reality that all sorts of perfectly normal people express all degrees of preference for this culturally taboo sexual idea.

Devus Community is an online BDSM/fetish community that promotes free and unrestricted expression, meeting, and chatting. In addition to facilitating interaction, Devus is home to an extensive BDSM library. Hundreds, maybe even thousands of articles are available here on topics like bit gags, plastic wrap, cobbing-boards, dental dams, edgeplay (dangerous! Not advised!), figging, genitorture safety, human animal roleplay, informed consent, Japanese rope bondage, kinkfest…etc. It’s quite extensive, and being an online community, there is endless opportunity to seek the advice of experts.

Domsub.info is a resource for relationships with a D/s lifestyle. The pages of FAQs address controversial issues that arise in relationships. It’s an invaluable resource because D/s relationships revolve around behaviors and interactions that most people do not grow up with a model for. Above all, it emphasizes that the needs of the individuals in the relationship determine its rules. Compatibility of needs is crucial for the relationship to be both consensual and satisfying. This site supports openness, honesty, and being true to one’s own needs and boundaries, as well as respecting those of their partners.

References

Baumeister, R.F. (1988). Gender Differences in Masochistic Scripts. The Journal of Sex Research, 25, 478-499.

Ernulf, K.E., Innala, S.M. (1995). Sexual Bondage: A Review and Unobtrusive Investigation. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 24, 631-654.

Hoff, G. (2006). Power and Love: Sadomasochistic Practices in Long-Term Committed Relationships. Electronic Journal of Human Sexuality, 9.

Weinberg, M.S., Williams, C.J., Moser, C. (1984). The Social Constituents of Sadomasochism. Society for the Study of Social Problems, University of California Press, 31, 379-389.

Weinberg, T.S. (1987). Sadomasochism in the United States: A Review of Recent Sociological Literature. The Journal of Sex Research, 23, 50-69.

Web Resources

Devus community.

Dominance and submission for the real world. <>

Friday 01

2010-01-01T17:56:00.000-08:00

Omg it's 2010! And I haven't posted anything in 3 months! That's ok, I really only did anything in the month of December. These pictures sum up the good parts of last month.

I've been looking forward to attending Urban Craft Uprising since I missed the summer event by a matter of days. So I had a lot of time to get excited and prepare for the few hours in Seattle. It was a major treat to go at all since I was super busy, and all sorts of scheduling issues were popping up. Thankfully Robert insisted that it would be a much needed good time while I stressed out over finals, and we all had a blast. In order to bring Snugglebunny along, I constructed a car seat for him. It's ridiculously adorable, though you cant see it all here. In addition to the fish in front, there are many more on the backs and sides of the seat. The seat itself is made of the cutest fabric I've ever seen: frogs riding colored pencils in outer space. omfg. I'm going to the store I bought that from while I'm here in Hawaii to see what other cute shit I could get for Snugglebunny.

We bought fancy soap from this one vendor, and she completely fell in love with Snugglebunny. Long story short, I'm going to find a way to share a family of Snugglebunnies through my etsy shop. Probably by sewing instead of knitting. I think a handknit Snugglebunny, such as the original, would retail for about $200. Maybe someday he'll have a fan with that kind of dough.

This chick sold beards! Largely knit or crocheted, and some beard related artwork. I'm so inspired!!

People bring some amazing stuff to UCU. I was blown away by all the screen printers. Lots and lots of cute monsters.

Oh hey, it's the space needle!

My favorite picture of Bellis yet. You can really see the orange and purple, in addition to pink and white. She's the prettiest snake I've ever seen. Ever!

I made this little bird for friend Ashleigh's birthday. Lots of friends at an Irish pub type restaurant. I spent more on my white chocolate martini than I did on my entree (I split shepherd's pie with friend Tanya). It was a great night, although I didn't actually give her the plush until the day after. Someone said it looked like a pear, which I agree with. I think this reflects the fact that the first plushes I made were vegetables.

Freeform patternmaking!

Oh god I love this picture.

At my mom's house. I helped her put new plants into her planter. I can't wait to have my own garden! It was super fun!

Clouds, the sun, and Honolulu.

Sunset and Honolulu with gazebo in foreground.

Tuesday 20

2009-10-20T14:33:00.000-07:00

Mmm, fall break has been good. I don't remember what I did on Friday. Saturday, I went to Terry's Berries, a farm in Puyallup, with Tanya and Marissa. Despite the misconception that a farm is a natural place, agriculture is still an amazing invention to behold. So many varieties of edible leaf! Not only edible, but tasty as well. Plants whose ancestors were poisonous, or yielded almost no nutritional content. Not to mention the farm animals that process grains and grasses into protein. Anywho, here are some pictures!

This is adorable :)

Large, beautiful cabbages.

This is a CSA farm, so they have lots of different crops instead of being a giant monoculture. Ick.

Us and our apples.

Marissa rolling apples into the chopper.

Tanya pressing cider.

Me rolling and Tanya pressing.

Super awesome organic farm shop, where we bought a ton of vegetables for our root vegetable and mushroom pie. No pictures but damn it was good. Will need to make it again.

Apiary!

Tuesday 29

2009-09-29T00:51:00.000-07:00

Right (technically not) in time for (but close enough) TBGuild's September Treasury, I bring to you, a little thingy that I made. It's a little hairclip. The theme is "white", and so I combined a small, but intricate satin rose with a small cluster of pearls to the side, and put them on a little hairclip, where it could easily go with any outfit. It's simple enough to go with a casual outfit, but elegant enough to complement a dressier outfit. Because it's white, it's appropriate for work or another more serious setting.

Saturday 19

2009-09-19T14:27:00.001-07:00

A black panel wrap skirt.

Slippy in his new terrarium.
Bellis!

Me and Jsedai at Pike Market :)

Saturday 12

2009-09-12T18:14:00.000-07:00

Today I'm writing about TBGuild member Vickilyn13 and her Etsy shop, Vickilyn's Closet. This shop has a great variety of gothic, lolita, cybergoth, and raver clothes and accessories. Her fun and crazy tutus come in tons of different colors and fit a range of body types. She also has many different styles of hair accessories that are sure to cause a scene.
My favorite of her items is the Swirled and Squishy twisted foam hairfalls. They add brilliant texture and color to your locks, guaranteeing a place in the spotlight.

For more creations of TBGuild members, check out www.tbguild.etsy.com.

Sunday 23

2009-08-23T19:33:00.000-07:00

Many of Threadbanger's Guild members that I've talked about so far were featured for soft items, like clothes or accessories, and some for jewelry. This next seller features plushies and scarves, but I think the most distinctive items in FreakishLemon's shop are the beautiful, colorful acrylic paintings. Some are abstract, some realistic.

This one, entitled "Red Door", really caught my eye. It's 11" x 14" acrylic on paper treated with gesso. This painting in particular combines a beautiful color palette, strong dimension, and tasteful composition with a skilled brush. Check out this painting and other works of art, as well as cute plushes and accessories here. For more shops of Threadbanger Guild members, see http://www.tbguild.etsy.com.

Monday 10

2009-08-10T20:54:00.001-07:00

I had a great vacation (Alaska with dad). What was only 12 days felt like almost a month. I'll have a later post on things I did and saw, with some pictures I took while there, but for now I'm going to share about all the goodies I bought, and the reason why I have no money now.

I bought four shirts for making reconstructions. They were all super cheap. Two have puffins, one has wildflowers, and the wolf one glows in the dark (super excited about this one).

I bought a slew of gifts for friends, books, fabric, beads, soap, and some stones. Most of the stones I collected myself, and some of the reading material was free.

These are the many rocks that I collected. Most of them (the shiny ones) are schists, which are metamorphic rocks. They were found in the Kantishna district within Denali national park. Others are basalt with intruding marble, and the dark one in the middle on the right is glacially striated basalt from Exit glacier. At lower left is a piece of Alaska jade and a chunk of malachite/azurite, from Kennecott (I paid for these).

Chocolates, cookies, teas, jams, soap, candy, and moose turds in back. At center are fat quarters of awesome batik prints of moose and puffins. These will make a couple of squares in my quilt. Super excited about that.

My wildflower field guide and the fat quarters close up. I marked my flower book with locations where I spotted specimens. That was definitely a highlight of the trip.

So now I'm back home in lovely dark, rainy weather, though with lymph nodes the size of golf balls. I have a lot of unpacking and laundry to do, as well as some work in the lab, for the upcoming week. I definitely look forward to spending some time with my sewing machine, and intend to make a stylish backpack for the upcoming school year. I shall post Alaska pictures soon!

Sunday 26

2009-07-26T14:01:00.000-07:00

Hooray! It's done! Please leave comments and let me know what you think!

Friday 24

2009-07-24T16:15:00.000-07:00

There have been a few highly exciting things going on. The largest of these is my trip to Alaska next week. I'm leaving next Wednesday and will be gone until the 9th. I'm meeting my dad in Anchorage, where we'll sight see and take a side trip to another nearby city/town. Then we'll take a bus to Denali for about four days, and come back to Anchorage for some other things. I'm not entirely sure of the itinerary, but I'll have plenty to say once I've done it. I'm very excited for some tundra botany and wildlife. Many pictures will be taken.

The next big exciting thing that's happening is, following my return, I plan to acquire a corn snake hatchling of the snow color morph. Such as this one.
I already have a name for it--Bellis. Bellis is the genus of a common North American weed, the English daisy.

I have a penchant for things that are common and under-appreciated, but amazingly beautiful or interesting. Crows, snakes, weeds, frogs, rocks, or a sick little oilslick all fall into that category. Bellis' tank is already prepared for him/her, minus some substrate and a lid...the furnishings are all there. I need something to put the enclosure on top of still. And I need to move Slippy from his huge difficult terrarium to his new glass terrarium, and toss the old one. That needs to be done before Alaska.

Final exciting thing for today--I'm nearly finished with a video tutorial for a tshirt reconstruction that I'm entering in Threadbanger's contest. I want that book.

The look is inspired by Anna, from the fashion show. The collared halter and the pleated front panel are elements that she used to great effect. The shirt comes from an icee shop in the neighborhood where I grew up. I visited recently, and it was quite a trip. So many things were different, but so much was the same. The name changed, for one, from Doe Fang, to Uncle Clay's--A Taste of Pure Aloha. If you're ever on the island of Oahu, stop by the Aina Haina shopping center. My favorite (I don't remember it's new name) was originally "Broke da mout", with li hing mui, li hing powder, and kaki mochi on top. Killer.

When I get back from Alaska, I'll have tons of news, pictures, and lots to share about various projects I've done this summer (since I haven't been updating as they come). Thank you for reading!

Wednesday 15

2009-07-15T15:59:00.000-07:00

Today I'm reviewing a fabulous shop from one of Threadbanger Guild's founders, the beautiful and talented Biohazard. Her shop is filled with killer accessories, including necklaces, bracelets, and purses. A personal favorite is her Lady Fingers necklace, made from high quality air-dry clay and painted jazzy with white splashes. Sophisticated enough for a formal outing, but fresh enough for a night of dancing, this piece (and the rest of the shop) deserve Your attention. For more of the wonderful works of TBguild members, check out http://www.tbguild.etsy.com, or http://forum.threadbanger.com/showthread.php?t=14364 for general information about the guild.

Monday 06

2009-07-06T19:14:00.001-07:00

Today went well. At work I ran the products of last Thursday's PCR, and finally, after six or seven tries, I can distinguish the markers from one of my Chlamy strains. All that needs to be done now is figuring out how to coax the markers of the other strain into showing up. PCR, or polymerase chain reaction, is a technique that I'll be using a whole lot this summer. The reaction amplifies key regions from bits of the genome, called markers, that differ between Chlamydomonas reinhardtii and the field strain S1D1. The result is a collection of DNA segments that are exact copies of the markers. The DNA segments can be loaded into this contraption that separates pieces of DNA based on size, such as the differently sized markers from C. reinhardtii and S1D1. Later on, I'll be using this process to distinguish the inheritance pattern of chromosones from mutant C. reinhardtii that are mated with S1D1. By analyzing how the different markers sort after crossing the two strains, it will be possible to find out which chromosome the mutant gene is on.

The rest of my day at work went smoothly, though I have doubts as to whether my DNA extraction was successful. Previously, in extracting DNA, the solution progressively lost its color, and yielded a white clump of DNA at the end. Today the solution stayed a kind of murky brown-olive color...and the clump I got at the end was black. So I'm not too sure I'll be using that DNA later on...

I got home at about 6 and was met by an incredible surprise! Here is part 2 of I have amazing friends. In the mail I got a decently sized box from my first swap buddy ever, Tany! This is from our first planned swap, originally for Valentine's day, but we were both very late for that. Tany has gorgeous handwriting, and she packaged everything so beautifully.

First off is this little pillow to hang on my doorknob, though I put it on my lamp for now. It features a gorgeous golden green quilted fabric with tons of matching buttons, which are a common theme between everything Tany made.

This is a beautiful crochet hook roll that Tany made with pretty floral fabric. I really love it and have already loaded it with my hooks, cable needles, and double pointed needles.

Here's the grand centerpiece: a big beautiful tote bag featuring a giant peony and more of those awesome buttons. Tany called it a yarn bag, but I think I'll carry it with me as a purse. It's too pretty to keep at home.

Me enjoying some Valentine's day chocolate. Definitely still good!

Some botanical news?

Here's a tiny handful of tiny strawberries yielded by my apartment front garden, collectively named Shelly.

Here's my new terrarium! 40 gallons tall. I'm very happy with it. I just need to autoclave some more soil, finish landscaping, and buy a lid and a light, and it will be ready for Slippy to call it home.

Here's my moss garden now--the moss is dead, but it's been taken over by a beautiful wildflower.

The end for today, and if you read this Tany, thank you so much for everything!! It's all so incredible, I feel so honored to possess your creations!

Tuesday 30

2009-06-30T18:33:00.000-07:00

This week I'd like to direct your attention to a shop owned by another of Threadbanger Guild's fabulous members--CookieEater on the forums brings you Mooey and Friends at Etsy.com. This shop features a delightful collection of colorful crocheted items, including hair bows, eye masks and tiny toys. Here's just one of the sweet little accessories you'll find there.

Visit http://www.tbguild.etsy.com for more of TBguild's talent or http://forum.threadbanger.com/showthread.php?t=14364 for more information about the guild.

20 June

2009-06-20T15:23:00.000-07:00

I have the most amazing friends ever!!! The folks of the Threadbanger forums have come to hold a very special place in my heart, and I really feel like a part of the community there. The most awesome part is moving out from just the forums and being able to communicate with these people through many many other mediums. It started out with the random thoughts thread, where I met Tany--one of the kindest, easygoing, and beautiful threadbangers in existence. Tany agreed to participate in my first swap, after years of wishing on my part. I just got in the mail the first part of her gift! This beautiful yarn came with a nice letter, in the most gorgeous penmanship I have ever seen! It's actually the result of a collaboration between Tany and the famous Angry Hippie, who I know for her wry wit, straightforward rightmindedness, and relatability. This yarn is organically dyed handspun tencel in the color motif of a large green mug that I have. I haven't decided what to make out of it yet, but I can't wait. It was incredible rolling it up into a ball. Whenever I figure out what it'll be, it's ready to go. Thank you so much to Tany, and Hippie for your hard work.

Just today in the mail, I got a package from MadonnaontheRocks, working in collaboration also with the Angry Hippie. Everything was so beautifully wrapped and the details on the necklace and ring were spectacular.

In this last picture you can also see a letter and necklace frok Vikki32, who was my partner for TBPenpals. We decided to send each other jewelry involving some polymer clay. She really hit the mark in terms of style and color with her necklace, and her letter was very nice as well. She even glued a sprig of cherry flowers to the top for aesthetic. Thank you Vikki!

Monday 15

2009-06-15T23:40:00.000-07:00

As the sudden as the lurch in the weather, my own transition to summer has seemed abrupt, with no time to anticipate or build expectations. Since coming back from Hawaii, I've been on a ridiculous sleep schedule. I think recovering from that enough to show up for a few hours of work has taken up what little summer-energy I've had. However I am determined to kick up my summer as of this week.

To start off, I'd like to spend some attention on an Etsy seller, fellow Threadbanger Guild member (one of the founders, I might add!), and a true inspiration to me personally. I'm talking about the fabulous Addie Marie, who is hard to match in talent, kindness, and creativity. I encourage all to have a look at her shop, MateyCouture at Etsy.com.

Addie is well known on the forums for her impeccable style and attention to detail. The pieces she creates are beautiful and unique, and incredibly well-made. One item that definitely catches my eye is her spring themed scrappy wallet from recycled materials. The different shades and prints of green and pink on the outside are combined with utmost care to create a refreshing accessory that is both stylish and carefree. There are a bunch of handy pockets inside to make this work of art fully functional.

To see more from the members of the Threadbanger Guild, visit TBGuild's Etsy. General information about TBGuild can be found here.

Monday 01

2009-06-01T03:19:00.000-07:00

Whew, here I go again mentioning how long it's been since last post. I'm visiting the mo. However Threadbanger has been so crazy full of excitement in the past week, even a fair amount of drama, I'm so glad to have this community to be apart of. One of the biggest perks is all the people I get to know and be inspired by. As I've mentioned before, I'm a proud member of the TBGuild of Etsy shops. One Banger I've been completely blown away by is ManiacalMickey, the mastermind behind Whoabot Vestures. This girl is amazingly talented, having provided the online DIY community with a fantastic video tutorial for making a vest, floored us with her skillful sewing and original designs, and being featured by a Bay Area newspaper. Let's take a look at her wares then, at Whoabot Vestures on Etsy.com.

Here we have a WhoaBot original Gentlemen's vest for women in XS/S. I find the colors of the plaid highly agreeable, even for one who is not a fan of plaid. The WhoaBot logo peeks out at the turned collar, with just the right amount of visibility to suit any stance on clothing branding. Finally I feel that the vintage silver buttons really pull the piece together, making it a timeless garment suitable for a wide variety of tastes.

I urge readers to check out more of ManiacalMickey's work at her Etsy shop, as well as those of other TBGuild members. There's a huge amount of talent and style within this group of artful crafters that is truly inspiring and pocketbook-encroaching.

Sunday 17

2009-05-17T15:27:00.000-07:00

A new item for my etsy. Suggestions for its worth? It took 5 hours to make--four different bows with handsewn beading.

Sunday 03

2009-05-03T23:57:00.000-07:00

It's nice to take a break from my busy schedule and take a look at nice etsy things that people have made. Unlike last weekend, the two papers I worked on didn't get finished. The source of this welcome distraction? Polymer clay. Adorable bears. Knitting. I've been flipping through the selection of adorable bamboo knitting needles made by Simply Hibiscus that are currently available at her shop, Lucy's Colorful Dreams. She's decorated them all with adorable figurines, such as happy little mushrooms and sweet little lady bugs. But these bears really take the cake, with their big baby eyes and tiny heartshaped tails. These size 8 needles could be yours for only $5 (for both needles! a steal!), an excellent price for a pair of needles, especially ones decorated so nicely. Check out Simply Hibiscus' shop at etsy.com or search for items tagged TBGuild for even more great finds from the crafters of Threadbanger.

TBGuild Etsy
TBGuild Blog

2009-04-30T23:20:00.000-07:00

Wednesday 29

2009-04-29T01:55:00.000-07:00

I'm so sorry Goofi. I failed you hardcore.

the yarn design goes around the outside. there is no bottom. it needs some beads thrown around. note, however, that prior to this evening, there was just the one large rose and that's it. i had class until 7. it's 2. i'm going to bed.

Sunday 26

2009-04-26T21:25:00.000-07:00

Whew! I have been working on my neurobiology paper on fatal familial insomnia for almost 9.5 hours today! And all I did was take it from 8 pages to 13! But now I'm done, thank goodness, and I've gotten it turned in before midnight tonight. I just wish I could find my planner so I could cross those suckers off. It looks like that might require some cleaning, though, so who knows when I'll ever get the satisfaction. I even finished another paper yesterday which is due tomorrow. It's about why it's ok for people to counter-argue environmentalism--they get themselves proven so severely wrong that they eliminate the question that climate change could be not happening. On Tuesday, I have to present my FFI review, which means tomorrow will be spent making a presentation. On Thursday, I'm supposed to turn in a paper about the effect of increased atmospheric carbon dioxide on the community compositions of soil microbes, but I have a bit of an extension on that. Probably into the weekend. On Friday I have another presentation for which I'm not very prepared at all, unfortunately. And it's a group presentation. I'll have to get my act together about that tomorrow. This week will be crazy hectic, but then not so much. I'm glad. And I have my new computer to keep me from being frustrated over my overheating laptop.

Sunday 19

2009-04-19T19:01:00.000-07:00

Indeed, it's been a while since I last posted. I wonder if that will become a common way to start an entry. I hope not, especially not when summer comes by. It honestly feels like summer already though. We went straight from winter to summer with no break at all for spring. The flowers are exploding. I wish to be on summer break too. I found out last week that I've been accepted to do summer research. I get a pretty stipend, which I haven't received but have already bought a computer with, to do 10 weeks of full time research on the genetics of the Chlamydomonas eyespot. I'm very excited. I hope to get really good at running repetitive techniques and staggering long processes.

Currently I'm working on a report about fatal familial insomnia. There's a good wiki on it, in fact that's where I got the idea. I need to post a few of my papers that I'm proud of. I think they'd be an interesting read for some.

Anywho, here are bunch of pictures I'm sharing.

tree trunk

hybrid goose

mushroom log

Trillium ovatum

a stream

slower water

enlarge it, I dare you.

peeking from backstage

in the dressing room

blue and gold choker, soon to be for sale~

This is what I spent my Sunday afternoon doing. I was chatting with Lady Jane and "Bob" and thinking of how jealous I was of all these people I hear about finding amazing lots of craft supplies at some odd yard sale for ridiculously cheap. So off I went to do groceries with the intent of stopping at every garage sale I saw. On the way to the store, I thought my luck was ruined. I only passed one sale, and it was heavily over advertised. Their "huge yard sale!!!" was just some junk on a couple of tarps, and I didn't bother getting out of my car. I took the slightly long way home for some reason, and as I neared my home, I saw a promise of a "giant" yard sale. So I took my groceries in and walked to the sale. Boy was I excited when I saw the flags.

This is a real yard sale. About 15 tables with stuff on top, underneath, and all over the grass. The house was beautiful. One table was completely covered in cell phone parts and the far side that we can't see in this picture: littered with craft supplies. I picked up what we see below for just $16.

Clockwise from the top center: a wood and glass display case, blue and silver christmas wrapping paper, 6 or 7 spools of ribbon, floral wire, foam stickers (pirate themed), colored card stock, nylon cord (navy), a pack of chipboard buttons, a beginner's kit for using nylon cord, 7 jose cuervo bandanas, two teacups, a ceramic dish with litte froggies, a sewing pattern for giant dinosaur toys, a garbage bag full of mostly felt in different colors, and a metal magazine rack.

It was so much stuff that I had to walk back home and bring my car. LJ and JS, I think you made all the difference.

Here's my outfit today. I think it's a cute combination. I have on blue rubber slippers, black shorts that I made myself, a grey sweater, and a green silk scarf. I think it's a good spring look--halfway between winter and summer.

You can kind of see my blueberry (finally repotted!) and my hyacinth in this picture. I have my plants, potting soil, and a chair just sitting in front of my apartment door.

Here's that storage cabinet cleaned up and filled with my rock collection. I'm pretty proud of it, I had no idea it would fill it up already. Left to right, top to bottom: Limestone with cubic fluorite crystals, lace agate, basalt and olivine, fossilized coral, orange crystal unkown, basalt and olivine; row 2: calcite, thomsonite, fossilized snail, calcite and serpentine, rose quartz, amber; bottom row: abalone shells, sledge rock, amethyst, tibetan quartz.

Here's the area around my rock collection. I have a fan from Chengde in China, a Chinese jewelry box, petrified wood, a fairy made from a silk flower, a couple of decorative boxes, including one made from cinnamon, a jar with shells and such I've collected, a toy echidna, and a goldfish figurine from Russia.

The whole terrarium area. The left side with the dead plants is pretty disgraceful. I should do something about that.

Tuesday 24

2009-03-24T23:18:00.000-07:00

These are some pictures I took during botany today.

Tuesday 24

2009-03-24T20:39:00.000-07:00

These pictures were taken in Hilton Head Island, South Carolina.

Tuesday 24

2009-03-24T19:52:00.000-07:00

Here are pictures from Middleton Plantation, west of Charleston in South Carolina.

Saturday 14

2009-03-14T18:46:00.000-07:00

Starting spring break was like hitting a brick wall. I went from a million kinds of frantic--about school work, about plane flights, about misc.--to nothing in less than a minute. Last week my proposal was due, I had a botany field exam, a brain quiz, and a paper that should have been 5 pages but took up almost 10. Now I'm in South Carolina visiting my dad. I haven't done any crafts worthy of boasting about lately (a few old ones I still need pictures for) but I did get my new camera on Monday.

I really deserved it. It's got 10x zoom and it's new, which means it focuses! I've been brushing up my picture taking skills, which are pretty bad. It was hard to be deliberate about pictures with my old camera, since it was over 8 years old and could not capture anything smaller than someone's head. For that reason I felt compelled to take lots of pictures of small things. Even with a functional camera, that can be hard to do. I need to learn how to use my camera a little better. In the meantime, enjoy!
Savannah SC Tacoma, WA
Savannah, SC
Savannah, SC
Savannah, SC
Savannah, SC
Savannah, SC
Savannah, SC

Tacoma, WA

Savannah, SC

Tacoma, WA
Tacoma, WA
Tacoma, WA
Tacoma, WA
Tacoma, WA
Tacoma, WA
Tacoma, WA

Sunday 01

2009-03-01T18:22:00.000-08:00

I've clearly failed to post in a while. I've been busy with a number of school and craft projects, including but not limited to my research proposal, a pants-into-bag reconstruction for a friend's birthday, a giving-blood-t-shirt-into-sexier-t-shirt reconstruction for me, sea jelly cane buttons, a decorative curtain above my workspace, and a gift for someone, but that's a secret.

Here's the curtain--entirely non-functional of course. I had to move my drawing down a little so that you could still see it, but that certainly fixes the problem of having too much blank wall right there. I also got the idea last night of cutting out diamond shapes from my stack and arranging them in a lattice on the walls at both sides of my desk. Now that I'm getting around to decorating it, it's a pretty awesome little nook to have.
Here's the starting material for a super awesome blouse I made, but have not yet photographed. I got it in exchange for donating blood. Or I should say I donated blood to get this shirt. Honestly I don't think I would have if not for remembering I didn't get one last time. I also think I will donate blood again in the near future to get another one, this time in XXL.

This and the next few are of a field pack I made for friend Tanya for her birthday out of pants and a t-shirt. It's also got a shoe-lace drawstring, so most of it's recycled, except for the buttons. Those are super awesome handmade seajelly buttons that glow in the dark. Those aren't recycled, but I think they're kinda worth it.

Inside lined with t-shirt; pocket, pencil holder, and space for a phone, compass, or hand lens.

Super awesome seajelly adjustable straps

The straps fold away in the lowest setting! How nifty!

The family of seajellies featured.

Wednesday 11

2009-02-11T23:21:00.000-08:00

confession: i feel really good after my neurobiology lab. we dissected sheep brains, and the first hour was spent prying the skull off. with my hands. (gloved hands). my thumbs are a little sore, but there was a definite sense of accomplishment when i had the brain separate from the mound of skull fragments. we didn't send too many shards of bone or clumps of tissue flying around the room, and nothing ended up in my mouth or on my face. that spells success to me.

Tuesday 03

2009-02-03T21:26:00.001-08:00

Tuesdays are a pretty ridiculous bit of scheduling. I have just three classes, but I'm in class for 7 1/2 hours. I go from 930am to 7pm, so by now I'm completely exhausted. So will go the rest of the semester, and with any luck, the summer! I'm currently in the infantile stages of writing a proposal to do research on cancer cell biology in fruit flies. It's not that I have a thing with fruit flies (see alcoholism in fruit flies), it's just that there's a surprising amount of similarity in the ways that humans and flies function on a cellular and molecular level. It's highly advantageous to use model organisms such as fruit flies, nematodes, yeast, and E coli bacteria because of the ease with which they can be genetically manipulated. Genes can be turned on and off and their functions carefully determined by use of staining techniques and light microscopy or molecular analysis using probe RNAs. At the start of last semester, I had absolutely no plan to mess around with research of any kind, much less on the micro level, and certainly not involving cancer mechanisms or fruit flies. I think my big plan with college was to find the biggest holes possible and jump into them head first.

I'm spent, so I'll go ahead and share some pictures of Snugglebunny. He's been on a rigorous schedule, too. He spends like 60% of his day getting his snuggle rest and 80% playing the fiercely snuggly captain of the Veggie Pirates. He's got some Valentine's Day booty to show for all his hard work.

Wednesday 28

2009-01-28T16:33:00.000-08:00

work in progress

Frozen yogurt with mango, kiwi, mochi; Federal Way

another work in progress, though it's actually more done now

Robert with frozen yogurt in Seattle.

Monday 12

2009-01-12T15:58:00.001-08:00

Tonight I hopefully will be going back home. I have three flights that I can try to get off the island on, and if those fail, i'll be up at 5am to try again. No matter what, I should be home tomorrow. God damn. Thank goodness. I've been so lonely lately that it's been affecting my motivation. Considering my usual drive, this is some serious shit. I managed to make one thing over the past couple of days (the elephant is still not done). It's a gift for friend Lucas, the only person who made time to see me while I was here. It's kind of funny, because he's my friend from Tacoma. Now that he's in Hawaii, I'm his friend from back home. He complimented me on my wirework, so I made a little trinket that is probably a little too easy to lose..I hope he doesn't.
Here's me today.

Thursday 08

2009-01-08T23:17:00.000-08:00

So I've been in Hawaii for a week and a half now, visiting parents and getting my fill of the local cuisine. I haven't posted at all, not for lack of time, but for lack of productivity. I think I've been posting in just about every thread in the Threadbanger forum for as long as I've been here. Other than that, the only evidence of my craftiness has been in working on a grey fleece stuffed elephant. I have two feet left to sew on, then I add the tail, stuff it, and decorate it with beads. Then I'm giving it to Amarjit, Robert's and my greatest hero in the world (he's the owner and main cook/chef at India Mahal, the only restaurant worthy of our money). It's going to take a while to get all the beads on, which makes it kind of silly that I took the time to hand sew the whole thing. I backstitched every seam because I distrust running stitch. Either way, the guy's gonna love it, and he'll love us even more for it. Considering how much love (money) we give him, it'd sure be nice to get a little love back (5% best customer discount?).

I haven't completed anything in over a week and a half. I would feel pretty worthless if not for forming a couple of very exciting ideas. One idea has already failed, and that was making my first video tutorial to make up for all the complaining I've been doing. The tutorial hasn't failed, but making it as a means of accomplishing something in Hawaii has. I didn't bring my camera charger, apparently. I got about halfway through recording the tutorial when the battery died. There's not much left to the project, it was pretty darn simple. Just a little t-shirt reconstruction with no more than a few handstitches. It's a very good project for me now, given my lack of sewing machine and other cool equpiment and materials, but I'm SO MAD that I didn't bring the charger. I'm usually pretty good with that. I'll be done with it shortly after I'm back in Tacoma. I think I'll be able to upload it on Wednesday.

The other idea, I already tossed into the Random Thoughts thread. I think it'll be simplest to just repost it.

i like watching video tutorials. i found a series of clips from expert village on how to make a "flared" skirt, and not only was i disappointed, i was horrified. watch this clip.

the girl (her name sounds like candycane cansew) drags on and on, describing every minute movement and decision she makes, as though it's for someone who has never sewn clothes before, but she doesn't bother defining basic terms like seam allowance, and she acts like hemming is a handy trick that she came up with herself. her finished project, shown in this clip, is nothing that you'd imagine a flared skirt to look like. it's much straighter than even an a-line skirt, and the slight difference in the width of the panels hardly accounts for the shape of your legs, much less creating any amount of flare.

the purpose of this rant? there are a lot of totally subpar videos on the net for making your own clothes. the only ones that i've learned anything from are associated with threadbanger. threadbanger does way more for inspiring and teaching about making clothes than anything else that makes videos on the subject. does anyone else feel like there's a lack of video resources for diyers at the intermediate level? rob and corinne and meg seem like pioneers in the area. i want more, but they're already in such high demand. i almost want to take matters into my own hands, and video document my experiments with pattern construction for original designs. i feel like i could do a way better job than that chick (blech) making videos targeted for non-n00bz. i think i could provide better design ideas and pattern elements without spending 2 minutes drawing a trapezoid.

is there demand for those kinds of video tutorials? is there supply (in addition to tb, i just need MORE) that i've failed to find? i wouldn't be capable of a full on webisode, nor would i feel like competing with threadbanger's existing almightiness in the field, but i think i can help contribute to the technical aspects of clothing construction, especially where people are moving just beyond the basics. what do you think? should i do it?

**********************************

My last idea hit me while going through boxes in my dad's attic. I have a lot of reconstructable clothes in colors and prints that it would be a shame to send off to the thrift store. I also found a lot of neat fabrics while going through my mom's fabric stash (most of it was mine at some point..). I made a lot of strange material decisions before I developed such a loving relationship with black (there's so much to enjoy in texture alone!). And so my idea is to divide up the materials into a few packages that I can send out in flat rate envelopes to people who can make better use than I can. It's like thrifting, but it's free, a surprise, and you have to wait for it to come in the mail. Sounds like fun right? And then you'll send me pictures of stuff you made from it, and everyone's happy.

If you'd like a mystery package (I promise to send only fabric and clothes, nothing dangerous!!) leave a comment below. Include your Threadbanger username if you're a guest or if I don't know you or if your name is different from your username here. I assume anyone reading this is from Threadbanger, because otherwise you wouldn't trust me to send you a mystery package. In case I have to choose between people, include a quick blurb of your idea of the ultimate mystery package. I probably don't have it to send to you, but I'll pick based on how useful I think it will be. Have fun! I'll let this go until Sunday unless no one responds. Hopefully I can mail packages on Monday, before I leave that night. Otherwise I'll have to take them with me to Tacoma and send them there. If need be I'll set another date.

Sunday 28

2008-12-28T23:17:00.001-08:00

And now...proof that I'm productive even when I'm too lazy to upload pictures that I have taken and are already on my computer.

Here's a pin cushion that I made a few weeks back. Judging by the contents of my memo board, I was still writing my genetics report. I made it using toilet paper tubes, scrap fabric, beads, and nail polish. It's meant to be a desktop fixture, like a sand weighted tape dispenser, versus a handy go everywhere wristtop pin or tape dispenser.

Here are three beaded bracelets that I made for Robert to give his female Hopi relatives for Christmas. I need to remind him to mail those...He has two aunts and a grandma (So-oa). Maybe it's crude, but I used a lot of very earthy semi-precious gemstones on account that they're Hopi...Actually they're very proud and would probably appreciate that I selected materials with consideration to their culture. Oh wait, they'll just think Robert bought them some matching bracelets for Christmas.

Here's a sneak preview at a work in progress...

Indian cuisine is the food of gods...

...like me and Amarjit.

Here's Robert's turntable setup, complete with handmade dust cover and long sought after yard sale cabinet. I'll call them Christmas presents. I'm thinking I'll make some Snugglebunny facial features out of felt so that he can play Mr. Potatohead[Snugglebunny] with his dust cover.

An awesome Christmasy scene. That tree is just...amazing.

This amount of snowfall is considered unusual for the Pacific Northwest. Thank you climate change.

The three of us went playing in the snow while it was still crisp and powdery.

It's Snugglebunny's first Christmas. He was very excited to see snow for the first time, too.

The next day he woke up and wanted to put on his hat. So he put it on....

And bumped some Dilla while I made him...

...a matching Santa coat to go with his Santa hat!

Our whole Christmas was pretty much thrown together, but we managed to put up a cute little tree for everyone to enjoy.

I didn't actually finish it until Christmas night, when we put the star up (for everyone else, that's 4am the day after Christmas).

Snugglebunny put his hat up too.

Oh joy, Christmas excitement! Hooray! But oh, wait...

Then I go to Hawaii where, despite the beauty, it is horribly humid and muggy, I have no friends, and strangers give me ugly looks when they walk by. I smile nicely, and they just glare at my pale skin and black clothes, like, "What's your problem?? Get with the goddamn aloha spirit!"

I'm sooo home sick after only 30 hours, half of which were spent sleeping.

Friday 26

2008-12-26T23:50:00.000-08:00

So Christmas hasn't really happened for me. Despite having had to cancel my plans to go home for a week, I haven't been motivated to post a lot of the holiday pictures I've taken. I'm still not going to do that now. I've got 4 1/2 hours before my shuttle comes to get me. My flight doesn't even leave for another 4 hours after that. So I have some waiting to do...I'm not really looking forward to leaving, though I think it'll be alright once I get there. I'll miss my sewing machine and my stashes. I'm just going to draw and design things while I'm gone I guess...anywho. Pictures when I get there.

Wednesday 17

2008-12-17T22:03:00.000-08:00

I'm completely finished with everything for genetics and geology. Genetics final was at 8am this morning :( but I think I did alright. I had good notes, which were allowed. The one problem I stumbled on was about DNA sequencing. Anyway, I'm sticking some pictures here so I can share my designs.

This is a top made from scratch for my mom's Christmas present. It looks ok, and I'm sure she'll be really hung up on the workmanship. Her college major was fashion design and her life is criticism. First off, it's all sorts of wonky in terms of shaping. I used non-stretchy brocade on stretchy knit, so it sits above hips like mine. Her's might be narrower...she's smaller than me in general.

This is a qipao (pronounced chee pow) inspired top. It's extra long with 3/4 sleeves and an offset mandarin collar. As you can see, the characteristic diagonal closure is false and embellished with embroidered butterflies, which I'm still working on. I think it will get some attention on the plane.

Here's a full-length view of my beloved winter coat. I designed it using Chinese and European elements and had it tailored by Mr. Cao when I visited Shanghai during the summer of 2007. It's made from cashmere and fully lined with dragon printed silk/polyester.
Here is a not-so-Chinese design element. A pleat of dragon silk is laced up on the outside. The cord Mr. Cao used is actually the same dragon print silk used in the rest of the cord. He included many very fine details that I didn't even think to specify.
These silk inserts open up in the wind or when I walk. Those aren't very chinese either, but you can sort of see the two different kinds of buttons used.

Here's another picture of the buttons at the collar. The collar is worn high, like a mandarin collar. The butterfly frog closure at the top as well as the three at the bottom of the closure were made by hand by Mr. Cao using the fabrics featured in the rest of the coat. As you can see in the button hole, he inserted fancy uber couture tabs instead of just stitching it finished.

Here you can see the lining--printed all over with a dragon design, because I was born in the year of the dragon.

Here's the heartbreaking part. The very middle back of that beautiful dragon silk lining got all ripped up by my pants. There are little corners on my pockets and belt loops that wreaked havoc on that one part for some time. I asked a knowledgeable seamstress how to approach fixing the hole, and she told me I needed to completely replace the lining with some stronger fabric. Therefore I'm taking these pictures to the threadbanger forum for some better opinions.

Monday 08

2008-12-08T22:38:00.000-08:00

Snugglebunny got a present today--the largest item yet in his pirate collection. It's made out of cardboard, construction paper, decorative cardstock, fimo clay, and is lined with fleece. It's 100% handmade from there on.

Sunday 07 later

2008-12-07T18:37:00.001-08:00

Now for some pictures
a bracelet for Robert's grandma, or so'oa since she's Hopi.

a drawstring giftbag.
was my dad's christmas present. supposed to be a blanket, but clearly not up to size :( it'll have to be a pillow case, but i'm not sure how to go about that.
turkey, mashed potatoes, green bean casserole
two pumpkin pies
gravy, vegetables, stuffing

a gorgeous rock specimen. it reminds me of modern art. the two intersecting blue cubes at the bottom are fluorite crystals. the bottom wedge shape is limestone. i don't know about the middle part. i'll be back with a side view.

Sunday 07

2008-12-07T18:30:00.000-08:00

Today was kind of a weird day...I went to volunteer at Puget Creek Restoration Society's downtown office. I was supposed to do field restoration, but you know, it's December. I got back home at around 230 in the afternoon and Robert was still sleeping. Not too unusual, so I went and took a nap too. I was pretty confused when I woke up, since it was an ambiguous 430 and dark outside. Ok, not too weird, but Robert didn't wake up until almost 6. A good 13 hours of sleep for him.

I should be doing a lot of homeworks right now, but my most imminent worry was given an extension without me even asking. No worries, I'll get to the little things sometime tonight. Now is show and tell time. Here's a poem I saw on Russel Simmons Def Poetry sometime in highschool. The first stanza is my favorite.

the rapper

all lyrics written by Sekou (tha misfit)

I’m so f--kin’ rich I feel ill,
I got about a hundred mil in “dollar, dollar bills”
I got cream, I got scrill, I got Benjies, I got a hot record deal
I got a house up on the hill - yo, I’m for real!
I got a mansion and a Porsche, and a thorough-bred horse
And my own golf course and … what else… a Bentley, of course
And a Ferrari - naw f--k it, I got a Ferrari dealership
I’m so rich I bought my own jail for fools that steal my sh-t
I’m so paid I’ll buy your father Rolexes, your mom’s diamond necklaces,
And your girl Lexus-es
I’ll buy every female on your mom’s side of the family fake breast-eses
I’ll buy a whole IHOP just to eat two breakfast-ses
I’ll buy a Benz for my girl, Beamers for all my exes-es
And new scooters for all my exes kids - but the truth is. . .
I’m broke.

I got freaks for every hour of every day of the week
I got Motel 6 hoes and dimes that stay in the suite
My bedrooms like a revolving door, revolving whores
A revolving chicken head store - but the truth is. . .
I’m lonely.

I pack the most heat on the block
Got an arsenal with everything from Glocks to Tomahawks
I speak the language “Buyaka!” “Buck! Buck!”
And all that gun jargon and rhetoric
You’re head’ll split open, bullets poking holes in your residence
I don’t know big words, but I know numbers and measurements
Like .45, .22, and 9 millimeter
That’ll leave a crack in your spine ‘bout 9 centimeters - but the truth is. . .
I don’t have a gun.

I don’t love these hoes. I don’t trust these hoes.
I f--k these hoes, I crush these hoes, I lust for these hoes
I’m forever rushing these hoes to let me bust in these hoes
Never buying nothing plush for these hoes
I do enough for these hoes, every chance I get
I go out of my way to call em bitch
And ho, and chicken, slut and trick and cunt
Seems to be what the average hip-hop consumer wants - but the truth is. . .
I respect women.

Of all ya’ll hard thugs I’m the hardest
Leave your ass dearly departed, or severely retarded
I’ll kill your wife, I’ll kill your dog, I’ll kill your turtle
I’ll kill your kids, I’ll kill your kids’ future kids
Then spit some cliché bullsh-t like:
“That’s just how it is…”
I’m hard - hard as the eyes of killer, hard as the hands of a slave,
I’ve never known love, and never been afraid,
I’m hard as a body that’s dead, hard as a convicts bed,
Hard as my d--k when I’m getting head - but the truth is. . .
I’m scared…

(I’m scared.)

See, the emcee is the one who’ll whisper the truth.
The rapper is the one who’ll holla the lies.
So don’t act surprised at what your daughter knows when she’s five
Just blame it on the bullsh-t that you buy - look what you’ve done…

I’m a rapper.

Friday 05

2008-12-05T00:55:00.000-08:00

So through what I feel is an admirable amount of trial and error, I worked up what is called a "circular scarf". I deleted pictures of all the steps I had to undo! Here is how to make one that is reversible. Mine has some azn floral print fleece and grey knit fabric.

Here's what you need:
two strips of compatible fabrics, 60" wide by 16"
pins
thread
sewing machine or a tolerance for hand sewing

Take your two strips of fabric and pin them right sides together.

Sew along the long edges, leaving the short edges open.

Turn the tube right side out.

Lay your scarf on a flat surface, folding the ends so the meet in the middle. You're going to put one end into the other to close the circle.

Choose one side to be the female side, or the "receiving side". Fold in a hem of 1/2-1".

Pick up the male end, or the inserting or "pitching" end and lay it on top of the female end so that it overlaps about an inch.

Carefully lift open the female end so the male end falls inside, roughly lining up with the seam allowance on the inside of the female end.

Pin in place, sew up, and wear in as many ways as you can think of.

You can cut your fabric wider for better coverage if you wear it as a hood, but make sure your fabric isn't so thick that it then chokes you when you wear it.

Monday 01

2008-12-01T22:03:00.001-08:00

Today I'm just featuring Snugglebunny. He hasn't gotten that much attention on this blog yet and that made him a little sad. But then he remembered it confused him before, and that's why he had no pictures up. Anywho, he's just been playing pirates and such lately. He'll pirate for a couple of days on end, and sometimes he'll sleep for a couple of days. Actually he doesn't stay up all night and pirate. He comes and naps for a while with me before he gets back at it in the morning. Next time he'll show you his ultra cool Carrot Club pirate vest in better detail.

Sunday 23

2008-11-23T10:58:00.000-08:00

Now is when I finish the "half" of my big genetics paper that I put off until the last day to do. I hope it is just my nerves that are telling me I need that much time to write another 2 pages. Anywho, Snugglebunny Adventures and Botanigoth Creations has now been launched, with 10 items currently listed in the shop front. Yay! Ads for Diversions Cafe and the rest of the UPS campus coming soon.

Wednesday 19

2008-11-19T19:32:00.000-08:00

I've been really bad at doing homework lately. I still haven't started my paper on alcoholism in fruit flies, which sucks because I know I find the subject interesting. What I have done is make a lot of buttons from polymer clay. These will go on collar scarves. Not much more to report...

Friday 14

2008-11-14T22:18:00.000-08:00

Here's my progress in working up a stash to sell at school and online: i have completed 5 scoodies, sewn 7 collar scarves (missing just the button), cut out fabric for 5 more collar scarves and 3 scoodies (hoods already assembled). No, it's not that far, especially since it would be irresponsible of me to get much more done in the next week. Next Friday I have a statistics exam (easy, no worries) and a genetics review paper due (holy. crap.) on genetic studies of alcoholism and related behaviors in fruit flies. This is actually of supreme importance in the field of genetic research; a surprising amount of the human genome is shared with flies, as well as other model organisms as soil nematodes and baker's yeast. There is some great literature out there regarding alcoholism in flies. My favorite so far is "Recurring ethanol exposure induces disinhibited courthip in drosophila". In other words, alcohol turns fruit flies into horn balls just like it does with humans. They also have some great equipment for measuring intoxication in flies. One of the fanciest is an "inebriometer". It's essentially a large glass tube that houses several mesh funnels in a column. Flies are placed at the top funnel and alcohol vapor is pumped through to intoxicate them. As they become intoxicated (directly proportional to duration of exposure) they lose their balance from each funnel and then fall to the next. Alcohol sensitivity is then measured as the time it takes for the flies to fall all the way to the bottom. By using the inebriometer, researchers have been able to study mutant flies which are particularly tolerant or particularly sensitive to alcohol versus normal flies, and the identity of the gene(s) that control that tolerance or sensitivity could lead to the discovery of its human counterpart(s).

School aside, I went on a pretty major shopping spree at JoAnn this evening. I spent $83, but in total saved about $75 with things on sale. It's all just stuff for making scarves and scoodies. I figure I won't make more than 3 or 4 ever with the same combination of fabric, just keep switching out my stock. I can actually put those five scoodies on etsy, but I'll need to design and construct a stamp for tagging each item. Designing's a little tough because I would feel ridiculous if I kept changing it. Kinda like getting a tattoo; I haven't decided a design was a good idea long enough to go get it done. Anywho, I'm gonna go sew some.

Tuesday 11

2008-11-11T15:22:00.001-08:00

I took way too much advantage of the free time I had this weekend. The schoolwork isn't bad, but it lasts until 8 or 9 each night of the past three weeks, save 1-3 days a week. I have 3 scoodies completed. I just need to photograph them so I can make my ads for etsy and for Diversions. I haven't done any work on them since Sunday though, just thinking about something my mom told me over the weekend. I'm not one to indulge in vague connections to celebrities I'll never meet, but I suppose this one is actually pretty unique.

Again, it's about Barry. On the front page of the Honolulu Advertiser was a story of all the places in Hawaii he had lived while growing up. As so many of us know, he grew up with his grandparents who continuously made enormous sacrifices to provide for him the best they could. They lived in an apartment on Punahou Street and Beretania right across from my grandma's apartment. It's a 20 or so story building with some reddish metal beams on the outside and a garage as the first floor.

I wasn't raised by my grandma, but I stayed with her a lot up through middle school. Most of the time, I lived with my mom in Aina Haina, but she's a flight attendant and was frequently away for a day or more at a time. My grandma is very Chinese and a wonderful character. She lives with her ex-husband in a 2 bedroom apartment that smells like sesame oil. She stays up late and sleeps in late because her favorite hobby is playing mahjong with her friends. I think they must be pushing their bedtimes back later and later, every once in a while skipping a day. Every time I walked home from school, I walked on the Diamond Head side of the road to avoid traffic where Kapiolani Hospital sits next to the freeway, and because you couldn't avoid cars turning right onto Beretania.

From 3rd or 4th grade, whenever I was allowed to actually walk between school and grandma's, I fell into a habit of waking up earlier and earlier to go to school. Before long I was there before the kids who woke up at 4am to take the bus from Mililani and get there two and a half hours later. It didn't do me too much good though. I didn't get to spend much more time with friends because of it. I've since stopped trying so hard, having learned that my efforts as far as people go do me more harm than good. Even though I attribute most of the good things in my life to having received a Punahou education, I'll always feel shame for how I was viewed by other students. Given the convenience of the location, I'm sure it's a walk that Barry frequently took, though at more school-related times.

I vowed to call our new President Barry from now on. It seems happy and nostalgic, but I like it for a different reason. While it's no surprise to residents that there are many many Asian people and very very few Black people, the fact that Punahou has been predominantly White and Asian in composition seems, to others, that it would make an odd setting for the childhood of America's first Black President. "Barry" now seems like a whitewash applied to Barack in lieu of his being able to establish a more comfortable identity. I'm sure a lot of Punahou students felt uncomfortabe on the basis of identity; while always being highly appreciative of ethnic diversity, the atmosphere of living in Hawaii puts pressure on residents to make blaringly obvious how wonderful life is in Hawaii. Sometimes it's hard to get with the aloha spirit. Anywho, Barry's hope for me is that despite feeling uncomfortable to the point of forming no lasting reltionships in one of the best schools in the country, maybe some day I'll matter to people.

The end.

Oh, and I thought it would be cool to have one of those totebags that has a stencil of some boy singer or movie star or something, except it would be Ol' Dirty Bastard instead of some emo kid. Maybe it will say dirt dog on it too :)

Friday 07

2008-11-07T14:42:00.000-08:00

I was supposed to have a geology exam last Monday, but somehow it's been put off until next Wednesday, and we get to use a cheat sheet again. I...guess I don't have that to worry about this weekend. What I do have to worry about is making nematode cross three. Cross one generated heterozygous mutant males (they are mutant in that they don't love nicotine); cross two was between heterozygous males and 6 different marker strains; cross three is inbreeding the offspring of cross 2. It's all just so very interesting, especially when you can manage not to kill the few worm males you can pick out in the sea of hermaphrodites. When I'm done worrying about microscopic worms and their sexual activities (asexual activities are typically disregarded) I can start making botanigoth accessories to sell on Etsy. I hope to have eight things or more available at a time once I get started, so I will try to get ahead if I can. But then I don't know how curious college kids are about visiting the websites they pull off the bottoms of fliers at the cafe. I also needs a photoshoot so people know they can buy a scoodie or pidge scarf/cowl. About the pidge scarf/cowl--I'm not sure which it's supposed to be called, since all the pidge scarves I looked up were knit and all the cowls were much larger and enveloping. Maybe someday I'll know.

I put off writing earlier this week mostly because of the genetics exam I took on Wednesday night. But hey, I am now alumnus to the highschool that graduated the first black US president. Hooray for Barry, who, even two months before he is officially president, is already morphing the entire world into a better place. If anyone out there hasn't already indulged in some patriotism, I encourage you to look up all the positive change articles in the New York Times. Go read about the puppy the Obamas are adopting. I find myself looking forward to my time in this country before I leave for Sweden. I might be ready by the end of his second term. I so rarely feel connected enough to other people to be able to celebrate a victory for our country, but maybe that was because no one was connected to realize that a victory worth really celebrating was really possible. We surprised ourselves with how united we could be, and maybe we're not so hypocritical as we prove ourselves under hyprocritical leadership.

Thursday 30

2008-10-30T18:47:00.000-07:00

So at 12:15 this morning I started working on a snoodie, or combination scarf and hoodie that I have just now finished. I saw it in a really old threadbanger episode that I can't find anymore, but anyway this was Rob's idea. I've got some pictures lined up for an instructable, which should be really easy to work up, but my priority tonight is finishing the previously nondescript hoody using Addie's tutorial. No longer is it remotely boring, for I have added a row of pleated ruffles at the bottom all the way around, with three extra rows at the very back for a very very miniature bustle effect. My best design elements come from cutting a hem wrong. I have still to finish the bottom hem, the last button hole, and the sleeves. The sleeves will come last because I'm not sure what I want to do there yet. I'll wait for some ideas to hit.

Wednesday 29 later

2008-10-29T21:02:00.000-07:00

So there they are. A few words: these are exaggerated super skinny super tall figures. I was taught to draw by comic book artist and drawing instruction book author Christopher Hart, so that's how I draw people. I can't draw males, and I can't draw people who aren't 7 heads or so tall. They are not to be used for any purpose besides drawing clothes over, and they are not to be taken as a realistic depiction of the female body. That being said, please upload whatever designs you love using these templates. I compiled them into different pages thinking that people have several ideas in mind that want to come out when they sit down to draw them, and that it'd be nice to have those designs side by side for recombination later on. Still to come: all front and all back three quarter and full pages, maybe some specifically side poses, and as I described earlier, style pages. "These will have just one front and one back full length figure centered in the page. The rest of the space is to be used for drawing insets of detail, suggesting alternative color themes, making construction notes, or designing other aspects of the look, such as makeup, hairstyle, or footwear."

Wednesday 29

2008-10-29T16:59:00.000-07:00

So originally my plan for this blog was strictly to discuss designs for things I've made, plan to make more things, and connect my contributions from sites like instructables to one another. I intended to show very little of me and certainly never talk about anything personal. I've since realized that what I crave (at least from time to time) is someplace where I can be what I'm not the rest of the time: as the band Fuel put it, someplace where I can be something like human.

It's probably something deeper and more tragic, but I ascribe my irl departure from humanness to the two semesters I spent earning A minuses in organic chemistry last year. This is a class that (at least at UPS) meets four days a week at 800am, with an additional 4 hour lab one day of the week. In Tacoma, from November to Febrary, the sun has not risen at this point. Those two facts coupled with the ensuing love-hate relationship with caffiene and pressure of other classes (of which at least one other has another four hour lab) make ALL ochem students TOTAL ZOMBIES. Being a zombie isn't as bad as it seems, especially when you're taking ochem. In fact it's a necessary part of writing any lab reports for any college level chemistry class.

The chemistry lab report is a torture device designed for use against bio majors, especially those minoring in chemistry; those with a dangerously intimate relationship to the field see it more as an instrument of autoerotic masochism. For the former group, the point is to spend days and days discussing a laboratory experiment through groups of letters, numbers, punctuation, and the occasional word arbitrarily named "sentences" such that the end product (maybe 3 pages long) appears computer generated. Here's an example:

"Uncatalyzed Diels-Alder Reaction of 1-methoxy-1,3-butdiene and acrolein. Acrolein (20 μL, 18.3 mg, 0.33 mmol) and 1-methoxy-1,3-butadiene (30 μL, 25 mg, 0.30 mmol) were dispensed into an NMR tube in CDCl3 (1 mL) and heated in warm water at 38oC for 1 week. The reaction was followed by NMR spectra taken daily. The racemic product was then characterized by chiral GC (figure 5). 1H-NMR: δ 1.85 (m, 2H), 2.01 (m, 2H), 2.55 (dt, J=5.50, #, 1H), 3.35 (s, 3H), 4.07 (t, J=3.66, 1H), 5.96 (m, 2H), 10.07 (s, 1H)."

So you did that about 10-15 times during the year. You notice it starting to affect your other writing. Your sentences start out passive, and you start inserting "active" words on purpose to make up for it. Your vocabulary narrows, and you can't describe anything elegantly. You can't write poetry. It starts spreading to the rest of your life; your automatic function is zombie, and you start inserting "human" signals on purpose to make up for it. But just as the comics and novels end up revealing, underneath the rotted flesh and behind the moaning demand of "BBRRAAAIINNNSS" there is indeed an amygdala in a functioning lymbic system. Play the you zombie a song like King's Crossing or Twilight off of From a Basement on the Hill while you're sitting at a table in Diversions waiting for your tall cappucino with english toffee (because she insists there is no gingerbread--she's lying) only to find that she took your order for a 20oz drink. Oh, and you don't know anyone there and everyone else knows everyone else. It's a small school, it's pretty typical.

I've been listening to Elliott Smith a lot lately, but I feel it affects me differently than it would for other people. It would probably be too heartbreaking for most...I need to remember to send it to my brother. just where is he....Honestly, I wasn't interested in him or his music until I heard how he died. It just wouldn't have had the same allure if he were still alive; think of the guy from The Cure and Michael Akerfeldt from Opeth. They got so lame, and so too would Elliott had he survived his withdrawal from alcohol and everything else he was quitting cold turkey at the time, including red meat and wheat. When I listen to his interviews, it's hillarious how much of a sad bastard he is. It's just so foreboding, and you can't help but know he liked to make himself miserable, and everything went the way everything would have gone if he could have done it all over again. He was the sort of person who needed to be horribly depressed despite being widely worshipped. He always depicted himself as somekind of shellshocked war hero, who looked forward to a bitter and tragic end. I guess that's why he pulled the knife out and stabbed himself a second time; I totally believe his girlfriend had nothing to do with it, except being involved in a really crazy fight. Let's just say I can relate.

Things turned out alright after geology. Our substitute professor was hillarious, let us out early, and relieved me of my current event presentation responsibilities. I think I'll put up a post later today with those croquis. It won't involve any whining.

Monday 27 October

2008-10-27T17:06:00.000-07:00

So it's Halloween on Friday, and I haven't done anything at all to prepare to maybe celebrate. The night of, I plan to bake a magic pumpkin pie. I truly look forward to it. Needless to say, I'm not bothering with a costume. But that is NOT to say that I've completely shunned one of the most important parts of one of my favorite holidays. Snugglebunny and the seals have donned their fall best in what he likes to call "veggie pirates". And here's a link to my miniature stovetop apple pie instructable.

Friday 24 October

2008-10-24T15:10:00.000-07:00

My three days back in school this week were as exhausting as if the whole week were crammed into that space. I've made no progress in any knitting endeavor since whatever I wrote about last...the big thing now is hooded jackets. Yes, thank you Addie_Marie for providing the inspiration and technical know-how that launched me on this seasonally-appropriate sewing extravaganza. For my first jacket, I followed her instructions except cut duplicate pieces out of fleece for lining to make it extra worm. I also cut out the front in two pieces 3" longer than the final width so I could have button-front closure. The instructable for those changes I made will come soon! Here are some preview pictures in the meantime:

Those pictures are both of the jacket inside out. You're not missing anything, it's just plain black on the outside. This will be one of the simpler jackets I have planned. After I finish it, I need to make one for my boyfriend and another fancier one for me, lined with blizzard print fleece. It's a beautiful rust red with a black filigree design. That one will have bell sleeves, ruffle trim, and button front closure, but still it will be black on the outside. It's the rule.

Coming up soon:
I'll arrange my pictures describing the construction of english muffin pizzas and stove-top mini apple pies into their own instructables.
I'll make a tutorial for how to make a knotted bracelet with beads. It uses embroidery thread, where one strand is knotted around the other strands to create a round bracelet with a spiral running the outside. Often times the design includes alternating bands of color. In my tutorial, I'll show how to add beads to these kinds of bracelets without making a bead-sized space between the knots on either side of the bead.
Snugglebunny and friends will show you their new collection of toy vegetables.

Lastly, something of use to all with an interest in custom clothing: hand-drawn croquis in a variety of poses that are designed to be drawn directly onto. The figures are light grey and are easily covered up by colored pencils, especially black ones. I'm almost done with my 3/4 length front and back models. Just need to make a variety of layouts and they will be available to download as a PDF. I personally plan to make a thick stack of them arranged by design type and fill in each page with a specific theme of design. I think a lot of people design a lot of related pieces at a time, and the layout would allow them to be compared simultaneously, and further combinations to be made from smaller shared elements of the theme.

In addition to 3/4 length front and back pages, I am working on full length front and back pages, and something else I've dubbed a "style page." These will have just one front and one back full length figure centered in the page. The rest of the space is to be used for drawing insets of detail, suggesting alternative color themes, making construction notes, or designing other aspects of the look, such as makeup, hairstyle, or footwear.

Monday 20 October

2008-10-20T20:47:00.000-07:00

It's the second to last day of a usually way too short fall break, but I think I've kept a good balance of being school productive and making stuff productive. I started work on a hooded sweater based on instructions from the threadbanger forum. However mine is lined in polar fleece and has button front closure. I'm almost done. I'm also working on an instructable for that jacket.

On the subject of instructables, I found out just the other day that my tutorial for knitting cables won a first place prize in the craft skills contest. It's cool to win things. I get a $25 yarn gift card and a book. hooray.

27 September 2008

2008-09-27T21:17:00.000-07:00

To the reader:
I haven't really worked on any of the projects I mentioned in my last post except for the vest. I've finished three of the four panels that comprise the bodice. It's looking a little large at this point, so I think I will take it in on the sides and at the princess seams that I will crochet after I finish the fourth panel. I purchased a nice maroon color to use for the trim. I guess you could say I "like" the Vanna's Choice collection from Lion Brand Yarn.
I made a cabled bag for friend Bergen using a lovely, iridescent olive green, and there's a rusty brick red that I need to use for something more than a swatch for an instructable. The maroon contrast will be used for crocheting an edge onto the front and bottom edges and duplicate stitching an x pattern around the very middle of the band of seed stitch.

A simple project I've already completed is a hooded jacket with lace embellishments. I used a black jacket from Costco ($20) and several feet of lace from the craft store. I plan to make an instructable for it soon.

While at the craft store with friend Kate today, I bought felt and foam for Snugglebunny's pirate costume. I made him a striped hat out of a pair of leggings given to me by co-worker Aubrey, and now he has an eyepatch too. The parrot and hook are both works in progress and constructed of foam. He's been playing pirates every weekend since International Talk Like a Pirate Day, and Halloween's coming up, so it's all appropriate, really.

Here are pictures of my backpack, which I now use for school. I wonder how obviously handmade it is. It's in my trademark botanigoth style, of course.

Lastly, here is Slippy's home. I switched out the semi-realistic red plastic rock bowl you see in the front for a big green cat bowl. The coleus plant in the front is a cutting since the one in the back was going crazy. So...it might die.

Intro

2008-09-18T17:11:00.001-07:00

To the reader:
My current ongoing projects include a knit vest, headkerchief, two cable throw blankets, and Slippy the frog's terrarium. I very recently finished a messenger style backpack. It is actually a convertible messgenger style/backpack style backpack, but the strap pulls threateningly when there are lots of books in it. On the other hand, I walk to school and I already have a reason not to bring so many books to school. As an explanation for this and the terse language to which I refer in my "Blog Title" I offer my major in biology and minor in chemistry. It's fun, but it's really just an easy way of not being a biochemistry major, or a cell and molecular biology major. Of course if I did either of those, I wouldn't have a minor any more. And I'd have to take more math and physics.

All of the knitting projects in which I am partaking are either straight out of or the interpretation of books from the Tacoma Public Library System. I encourage everybody to take advantage of any resources available to them through their local library systems, and to promptly pay the many fines you will accrue by checking out forty or fifty books at different points throughout the month.

What I had in my hands before constructing a blog, and what I will return to after this is posted, is the knitted vest. It's a variation of the "Juliet Vest" from Get Hooked Again, by Kim Werker. I modified the pattern, which was originally crocheted, so that I could knit it instead. It didn't make much sense to me, actually, since the diagram suggested it should be 16" at the waist.

In addition to the conversion to knitting, I added shaping at the waist. I have no promises as to how this will turn out, as I used more math than theory of knitwear design or creativity to devise my increases and decreases. There is a band of seed stitch 6" around the middle, with front lace-up closure. The straps are very wide apart in the front and normal in the back. I say all of this as though I'm in the final stages of construction, but really I've just made a lot of decisions in my "statistics" or "genetics" notebook. I've only just finished half of the front. Oh, and it's black.